HOW TO MAKE UP TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Quality time seems like the simplest of the love languages to explain yet it’s the most easily misunderstood, sometimes it’s taken out of proportion.
When someone says I want someone who’ll be there for me 24/7. A lot of people laugh and say that it’s impossible, that in fact the person should just resign from their job or leave their business and come home and stay just looking at you. They make it seem like a mockery but in the real sense it’s possible but just not the way we think it should be.
For me I love quality time and my wife is also so busy but still we have managed to make our marriage work and stay happy. Everything is about understanding and effort. One partner putting some effort and the other understanding and both spouses learning to improvise.
The main thing in quality time is not the quantity of the time, but the quality. You don’t have to spend the whole day to make it count. Just be deliberate and intentional about it.
1. If you decide to spend time. Let it be dedicated to that person. No distractions are needed.
If you want to take your spouse out don’t mix it with any other activities like watching TV or chatting and laughing with someone else, it’s just a waste of time.
We tend to do this a lot taking our loved one to our place of work or business then ignore them there and go about our business or work then come back at the end of the day and claim to have spent quality time.
It doesn’t work that way. It’s even more annoying. So plan time together and don’t mix events.
If you want to watch a football match watch it, not to take someone along and never communicate with that person but leave that person alone on a seat and join others guys and react to every part of the game and worse of all your team loses and you transfer aggression and claim you spent valuable time. Well before you return I may be at a home…
If you must spend time be mentally present not body present and spirit missing.
2 If you are in a busy job, does your spouse have access to you? If they call you at any time and you are available do you answer or reject the call or hiss and refuse to answer the phone and murmur some words like “every-time this one is disturbing somebody “•
Do you call back if you miss their call? Someone always having access to you is quality time, calling back if you miss someone’s call makes up for loss of quality time.
Someone always having access to you shows them how much they mean to you and you also give them attention.
Thank God for technology and mobile phones I can always call my wife anytime as long as he is in a network coverage area and she’ll always respond.
If she misses my call she’ll ALWAYS call back and if she’s so busy she’ll ask someone to answer and put it in speaker and tell me she’ll call me back which she always does.
Even if she decides not to take anyone’s calls I’ll always know the number to reach him on. So are you accessible❓
3• No matter how busy you are can your spouse count on you when you are available❓ You are gone throughout the week, when you are available during the weekends does your presence make a difference❓ Do you try to make up for lost time or do you just go out and hang with friends.
If your spouse tells you they want you to attend an event with them do you plan it in if it’ll fall within when you are available? Or will you consider it a waste of time?
4• Does your spouse have your support? Being supportive is another form of quality time because you are in touch with what they are doing and give them your support, you are showing them attention by supporting their goals and dreams. You ask for regular updates and advice where necessary and if there’s something you can do to help you do it without being coursed. This is a very important part of quality time.
5• How well do you listen? Are you fond of interrupting when they come to you with something to say, or do you just brush it off and regard it as nothing? It doesn’t have to be a complaint or something you did to hurt them but just a random discussion and they want your opinion. What kind of reception do you give? “One of just get over with it you are wasting my time “•
6• How good are you with dates? Remembering important dates is a good form of quality time. If you are barely available, please try to remember important dates, set alarm in your phone if you have to. It looks like nothing but it means a lot.
Luckily for us we are alive during the time of mobile phones and social media and can make the most of it for our relationship.
Due to the times we find ourselves people have to work twice as hard to make decent living so we may not get to see our loved ones like we may want but that being said some effort can still be put.
No job or business that pays well gives time especially at the beginning. On the part of the spouse expecting quality time be willing to understand if some effort is been put.
There was a time my wife will just have 30 minutes of rest in the whole day and she’ll call me for 15 minutes, that was more than enough, in fact at some point I had to ask her to rest but she insisted on calling.
That effort was worth hours to me. So understanding is the key word but understanding should not be abused. Because a spouse is understanding doesn’t mean that neglect should set it…
My apologies for the long article but a lot of questions have arisen on this topic. So I had to share my experience…
Thank you for reading ❤❤❤