How to save your marriage.

what most women do which their husband do not like.

There are wrongs majority of what wives do which their husband complain about which has completely thwart gaining access to their man’s heart. Many men complain of these and that is the reason I term them as primary wrongs. A good number of marriages today having problems due to the presence of these wrong in them. Failure to handle these has even led some marriages disintegrating and some being endured.   

It has been discovered that many wives are careless and allow and do certain things that do not give room for many successes. Satan having this as his strategy of running marriage has succeeded in destroying some marital unions and made many problematics.

In this first chapter of this book we shall be looking into primary wrongs many wives do which their husbands complain about. As we go through this chapter, obverse well to know certain things you must avoid doing to have your husband a happy man. You may not be involved in all of these but know them to be a good marriages counselor or adviser to others. On the other hand, you can be a victim of one or two among all we are about to discuss in this chapter. In any case, study this chapter very well so as to be a blessing to your husband and also your marriage enjoyable and successful.

  1. Being Grieved If Your Advice or Suggestion Is Not Taken

We have wives that will never be happy with their husband anytime their advice or suggestions on issues are not taken or implemented by their husbands. There are husbands who complain about this error of some women particularly as it concerns their wives. It is wrong for a woman to begin to feel unhappy or resentful anytime she gives implemented by man. These women complain and some even occasionally refuse eating if after speaking or advising their husbands on issues and discover that their husbands never took or did what they suggested to them or advise them to do. Majority of these women at such time will no more show their husbands their face or talk friendly with them but go on complaining that their husband doesn’t take their advice, suggestion or listen to them.

It is always in the hands of woman to give their husband advice concerning certain issues while it is in the hands of their man to take final decisions on such matter. When this is seen and taken this way, a woman ought not to frown her face or take it that her husband has committed offence against her for not taking her advice or suggestion relating to a particular issue. In any case, reasonable husbands take their wives reasonable and prudent advice for implementation not disdaining or discarding them because they come from their wives being women.

  • Finding It Difficult to Apologize Whenever Found Wrong

Apologizing does not really mean you were wrong and the other person was right, but it is always said to maintain a relationship.

Many marriages are having problems today due to the ill behavior of some wives whenever their husbands approach them for their wrongs in marriage. These women in their marriage don’t easily come down to apologize to their husbands whenever they do wrong and confronted or convinced of it.  Every man feels happy seeing the wife showing the sense of remorse and repentance anytime she is made to know where she has gone wrong. Against this, some women don’t know how to apologize to win back their husband’s heart or love.    

These women while they know that they have offended the husbands will without any remorse stand before them and say let’s forget everything that has happened so that we can move forward. To them they have apologized to their husbands but is that the right way a wife should render whole-hearted apologize to the husband when she knows that she has offended the man?

A lot of husbands complain that their wives to show the attitude of being stiff-necked any time their wrongs are show or made known to them. For such women to bend down before their husbands to say “Please my husband I am very sorry for doing this” is very difficult for them. This does not portray a married woman as a good or godly wife. Any woman who finds it difficult to apologize to the husband anytime she offended or does wrong cannot be taken to be good wife. A good wife will always show the readiness to apologize to the husband anytime she is made known her fault or offence against him. Many see this area as where their wives have a serious problem in the marital relationship with them. How will you feel if you were a husband discovering that your wife finds it difficult to say “sorry” any time she is made to know her wrong? I tell you, despite he is the head of the family should as a matter of fact show a good example to the wife be always ready to apologize to the marriage. It is only immature men that always feel too big to their spouse “My wife I am very sorry for the wrong I did please forgive me.”

Some women arrogantly feel that it is a letdown personality to be falling down before their husbands and say “I am very sorry” any time they ever did well in their marriage or offend their husbands.

Any time such women are made to know that they have done wrong in their marriage or offend their husbands they will out of pomposity behave as if they never offended anybody. This attitude or nature of some women does not in any way help marriage. A woman should be humble enough to say to the husband “please my husband forgives me for doing this” any moment she is made to know the area she derailed or never did well or offended the husband. Standing stiff without any sense of remorse, repentance and readiness to apologize is not good to be said or refereeing to a submissive wife particularly a godly wife.

  • Not Capable or Willing to Offer Advice or Suggestions

Many men complain that their wives offer nothing or contribute nothing whenever they are required or expected to offer some suggestions or advice on issues. This attitude of some wives hurt their husbands so much that they don’t hold themselves back but go on complaining it to people around them. Some wives are “whether good or bad go on my husband”. They will be watching their husbands going wrong without them saying or doing anything about it. Some of them is their husband”. They will be watching their husbands going wrong without them saying or doing anything about it. Some of them if their husbands ask them to say something or give them suggestions on what they are proposing to do, they will reply them by saying that they don’t have anything to say. It is not that these women have something to say or suggest but don’t want to, the fact is that they don’t have any reasonable thing to say, suggest or contribute.

One of the benefits of marital union is a headband having his wife as his adviser or a counselor. Where this is not realized in a marriage, such relationship is likely to be having problems from time to time.

How will a man calling the wife for advice or suggestion feel seeing that the woman lacks the willingness or ability to satisfy his expectation? The man without any iota of doubt will not feel good about the woman. Ask some women what to say or suggestions to make concerning certain issues in their marriage and you will hear them say “Do whatever you think is worth doing”. Some as I have earlier said will say “I don’t have anything to say”. Many of these women, this is their well-known attitude anytime their husbands ask them to give suggestions or say something concerning what they plan or would want to do.

As a woman who born with a difference, highly influential, always know what to suggest or adviser your husband anytime he requires from you. A who man does not receive advice or suggestion from the wife any time he wants to do certain things is all alone.  What does “I will make a help mate for him” mean? It means that a woman who wishes to have space in a man’s heart must at all-time have a reasonable advice whenever their needs arise in marriage and home. This one of the great secrete to a man’s heart.

  • Difficult to Admit Faults  

It is not a crime if you kneel down and tell your husband baby please forgive me if I wrong you in any way, I don’t mean to hurt you no matter what I do.

Many husbands complain that their wives don’t easily admit their faults. We have many men who in the same way complain that their wives don’t admit their faults at all. Men complain of this do not speak good about the women who are involved in it. No man expresses happiness discovering that his wife finds it difficult to admit her faults. By this many men are having problems with their wives in their marriage. Frankly speaking no bachelor will ever accept to marry a spinster he knows that she doesn’t easily admit her faults whenever confronted for her doing wrongly. If no man can be wiling to marry such a woman it then means that no husband will ever feel comfortable living together with a wife that doesn’t admit her fault anytime she is made to know it.    

There are women who will never accept that they are wrong or to be blamed even when what they did is openly and clearly there speaking about their mistake. Some of these women always look for a way to explain away their faults. By doing this they don’t admit or accept the responsibility of their offence. This annoys men as it makes some to lose interest in their wives. Let me tell you, this has scattered some marriages.

Are you the type of wife that doesn’t accept her faults before her husband? If you are, please jettison this bad attitude from today. Anytime your fault is made know to you don’t waste time to say “Actually it is my wrong, am very sorry”. While you do this, you are deeply wining the heart of your husband. Please as a godly woman don’t at any time hesitate to accept the responsibility of whatever you have done wrong in your relationship with your husband or home. This portrays you as a married material and as a child of God indeed.  

  • Always Like Staying Far from Your Spouse

There are women who like staying afar from their husbands even whenever they are in the same room with their men. Are you surprise to hear this? Don’t because there are women who behave as if their husbands will bite them if they ever come close to them. A man who enjoys his wife being always by his side will never feel happy discovering that his wife likes staying afar from him. Some of these women not only like staying away from them, any time their husbands come close or touch them, they will with frowned face say “leave me alone, it is not to me as it is to you”. By this action or reaction, their husbands will shift with annoyance complaining that their wives don’t like them coming close to them. This might even cause some men to go out looking for comfort, so as woman who want to permanently win your wife heart, please always make sure you draw close to your husband.

A woman having “itching body” any time the husband comes close to her is very bad and men don’t like it. Seeing your husband different from yourself any time he comes close to you as in anti-marriage attitude that destroys marital relationships. A woman should though not always feel good seeing the husband close to her. I know that there are times a woman for one reason or the other may live to stay alone but all things being equal, a wife should be happy person seeing the husband being close to her. Any man who doesn’t go close to the wife may have a woman he goes close to. Let me say this here, every closeness of a man to the wife is not and should not be for sex or pregnancy. Understanding this fact will enable most women not to be sacred anytime their husbands are drawing close them. I also admit the fact that some men don’t come close to their wives unless it is anytime for them to have sexual exercise with them or get them pregnant. This is very wrong as a man can engage in having spy contact with the wife without sex in mind. Don’t you know that a man and the wife can be discussing with their bodies touching each other yet they don’t have sex in mind? In all, a man should not only like going close to the wife just for him to have sex with her.

As I pointed out above, there are times a man may like to stay close to the wife for them to discuss. We have times a man may wish to stay close to his wife for them to warm themselves. A good wife should give her husband rooms for these. Husband and wives who stay far from each other are prone to marital problems. Staying afar from each other gives Satan and evil people room to come in-between a man and his wife. Sister avoid that gap existing before another thing or person takes your husband from you. If you are afraid of being pregnant by your husband at the time you wouldn’t want it, have a way you can godly be handling it.  You can playfully leave your husband anytime you discover that is about to cross the agreed boundary. At this, he may not get tended but avoiding or staying afar from him for lack of no just cause may take the man unhappy and complaining.

Sister, do you have the attitude of always keeping far from your husband? Please change that idiosyncrasy from today having heart that your husband doesn’t like it and you can’t win your man’s heart this way. Please note that I am not saying that you should for 24 hours every day keep staying together with your husband without doing any other thing. This as well-known will amount to boredom, laziness and nothingness.

  • Recording of Faults

We have men who complain that their wives are good in recoding their faults against them. Women abound who will ever forget recoding faults in their memory and wrong done to them by their husband. Even if it is after ten years they will still remember the time, the minute, the hour, the day and the occasion their husbands offended them. Men don’t like this attitude of some women or wives. Recording and recounting of your husband’s fault against you after many years it took place do not help marriages to be successful at last. Women whose brains are magnets or computer when it comes to recording and remembering of their husband’s wrongs or offences against them cannot maintain good homes or marriages. I know that there are strategic injuring events a woman will continue remembering against the husband as long as husband makes such events to continue occurring and reoccurring. At this I will advise husbands to be very careful on how they treat or handle their wives. In any case it is marriage-destroying to have a wife who always remembers the offence of the husband against her after years or even days have passed.        

A wife remembering or reminding her husband of offence committed against her of which the man has apologized and forgotten does not give men joy. No husband can happily be relating with a woman as wife who always records and remind him of his past faults and offences against her of which has been addressed. Forgiving and forgetting are very important in marriage. Even when you remember the wrong husband did you in the past, let it not be to retaliate or victimize him. Yes, you can forgive but not easily forget but it is good for one to pray for the grace to forgive and forget people’s offences against him/her. “you did me this five years ago, and you did that two years ago not good as that does not give room for the survival of marriages.

Anytime your husband wrongs you and it at the end settle or probably from the depth of his mind he apologizes, wipe it away from your mind and keep on relating well with him. Completely delete the memory of that offence as that will help you to keep loving the man. Anytime Satan or flesh comes to remind you that offence, you tell him that it has been settled and never to be recounted or remembered again. Make sure you don’t have an offence against him for that is what makes you a good wife after his heart and also a child of God, you know that many wives are in hell fire even at this moment you are reading this book for not forgiving their husband offences when they were alive on earth? To avoid your joining actually there are men who so much maltreat their wives that their wives forgetting what they have done or what they do to them is very difficult. While I know that this is obvious women must do anything to forgive their husbands no matter their offences against them.

The reason is that God in His word asks us to forgive all those who trespass against us. It is possible that being a human you can occasionally be remembering what your husband did to you some years ago because of the gravity or weight of that offence but not get offended, retaliate or victimize the man.

  • Mostly According Respect and Honor To Men Outside

Your house is not an animal farm which you may think that all animals are equal as George Owell said.

Most women respect other peoples husband more than their own husbands. Is this right? We have women who don’t have any regard for their husbands but celebrate other women husbands. These women are ready in their respecting outsiders roll on the floor for them who are not their husbands. Many men noticing this in the lives of their wives and in their relationship with them complain so much of being neglected or looked down upon by their wives. No man will ever feel happy discovering that his wife who doesn’t have any regard for him both at home and outside accord much respect and honor to men outside. This is the reason some marriages are having problems today and some women hardly survive in their marriage because you can’t win your husband heart without respecting him. Actually, the position God has kept them in His house demands that respects and if you so wish to win his heart permanently, you must learn to respect him always. Secondly every man is entitled to have the respect of women around him as honor must be given to whom honor is due. In all, every husband is entitled to enjoy the respect and honor of his wife as God is the one that made it so. I must also say here that some men are jealous that they don’t feel comfortable seeing their wives respecting and honoring other men except them. This is wrong on the side of every man that does this but all husband deserves the unflinching respect and honor of the wife.

A woman’s husband apart from God should be the first person that occupies the most enviable place of respect and honor in her life or mind. It is not that a woman respecting her husband should not respect other men. There are men I have already said who are so jealous that seeing their wives respecting and honoring other men grieves them so much.

These men at such points or times always feel like fighting everybody around. It is not that their wives do not honor or respect them, the fact is that they want all the honor and respect that come from their wives to be given to them alone and always to them their wives should not see any other person on earth expect them.

The most desirable and judicious thing here is that a woman respecting and honoring other men should accord the husbands his respect and honor. Of course, every reasonable and godly woman in respecting other men has a reserve place in her heart for the husband. Your husband apart from God who is to be given the highest respect and honor by everyone, a woman’s husband should be accorded and enviable respect in her life. I admit that some men by the way they treat or handle their wives don’t deserve the honor and respect of their wives. Admitting this for their husband. Your husband by his ill-behavior, character and treatments to you may not deserve you according him your honor and respect but endeavor to give them to him. While you do this, he may change if his conscience is still alive. Never use evil to pay back evil as doing so is godlessness and bible unacceptable.

  • Argumentative

Most wives argue so much with their husbands. They hardly take things as their husbands tell them. Do you know that there are wives who conveniently take things as outsiders tell them than accepting things as their husbands tell them? It annoyed all men discovering that their wives argue with them in almost everything. Even when truth stands out for every person to see some women will go on arguing with their husbands on that thing.

When am talking about argumentative women, I mean wives who argue with their husbands almost in everything, whether marital or other issues. These women don’t take things as their husbands made them know to them. They must argue everything out with their husband. I must also pen down here that some men by the way they do things have made their wives not to believe them in most of things they say or tell them. There are husbands who are not truthful at all, their wives taking everything they say to them hook line and sink can be very dangerous and harming. If a woman in several occasions has discovered that most of the things the husbands tells her are lies will always find it difficult to believe him even when the man is truthfully speaking to her about certain issues.   

When I am therefore talking about wives arguing with their husbands as one of the things you urge to do if and only if you want to win the man heart permanently. I don’t mean that a woman should be a robot. I don’t mean as I have said that a wife should take in everything the husband tells her every moment without questions. A woman should air her opinions or views on matters but not to be known by the husband as someone who always argues. There is time you may like to reason out things with your husband. At such times make yourself open to accept the truth or the right thing when it is made clear or said. A man on the other hand discovering that the wife on hearing certain things from him must argue should make sure he always speaks trustfully and convincingly to the wife possibly with evidence.  

Avoid arguing your husband whenever he has made open your fault to you. Do everything to avoid replying words when the truth is open for everyone around to see. There are women even when everyone around is blaming them for what they wrongly did they will keep on arguing. I must also say here that it is not every time that majority carries the vote.

All I am saying here is that blind argument is very bad as such makes people more blinded. There are people for instance who argue and say that it is not bad and ungodly for God’s people to be dressing or appearing worldly. They do say that there is nothing like a child of God dressing godly. While they do this they do forget what the bible said in James 1:27, 4:4, 1Jn.2:15-17. Such people can tell you that there is nothing wrong or godless for God’s people particularly women to be dressing as worldly women do. 

All I am saying here is that a woman must avoid being seen by the husband as someone who argues so much. Even when you have tried to make your husband know and accept the right thing and he refused, leave him alone knowing that there are things time frame handles very well. That you decide to keep quite when your husband is trying to make you accept or believe the wrong thing does not show that you have accepted that thing as he has said. This is better than entering into argument with him. Do you know that several times quarrels are taken place, the out-come is always arguments? Some ignorant life partners at that times fight each other whenever arguments get out of hands or become uncontrollable between them.

  • Not Ready to Learn and Adjust

Husbands complain that their wives don’t have the attitude of their husbands being ready to learn and adjust. Most men who complain about this do so with pains. Discovering that a wife a proves stubborn to learn and adjust is painful to every reasonable mind. Being stubborn or refusing to learn and adjust one’s life is quite different from someone who is slow to learn as to adjust. The two are painful but the more painful is the former.

Men feel and express happiness discovering that their wives are not ignorant of many things, they are learning and adjusting. As husband though not easy may endure teaching a wife who don’t learn easily or quickly but will always expresses pains and disappointment having a wife who is heady or stubborn to learn and change for better. There are women who for the past five to ten years they have been in marital relationship with their husbands they are still as raw as when they newly came into the life of the men. Not that they are slow to learn as to change but stubborn to do that. Do you now see why many marriages are having problems? Why can’t there be problems when a stubborn to learn and adjust woman is in the marriage. Anyway, any man that sees himself in such a marital environment has no alternative than to go on living harmoniously with the woman if he must make heaven.

One of the keys to successful, lasting and joyful marriage is a partner discovering that his or her spouse is learning and changing. It is heart-aching to discover that the mistake a woman started making right from the first day she entered a marital relationship with a man is what she is still struggling with after ten or twenty years of her marriage with the husband. A woman sticking to be doing what she has negatively been doing right from time destroys marital unions. We have women that no matter the method you apply to teach them things they will never learn and positively change. I must on the other hand say here some men don’t know how to teach their wives to learn good things. There are men who will be rebuking or scolding someone with bad words saying or claiming that they are teaching the person to learn good things. These husbands don’t know how to teach their wives things. When their teachings are provoking and annoying they will be saying that their wives lack the ability and willingness to learn and adjust.

Some at this will say that their wives are stubborn to learn as to change for better. In any case every godly wife gives herself to learning whether her husband uses harsh or soft voice to teach her.

Be ready to learn, adjust or change so as to have your husband heart permanently and made him a happy man. There is no joy you will derive in making your husband annoyed by your refusal to learn and adjust in things of your home or marriage. Always bear in mind that the changes we are talking about here are the ones for good. Find out the areas your husband is expecting you to effect changes and do everything to respond positively. Please note that any change that will deny you godliness and heaven at the end must be avoided at all costs no matter the pressure on you or what may be the end result. For instance, there are men that ask or teach their wives to be dressing like Jezebel and Delilah. Such pressure or teaching has to be godly resisted by every godly or heaven bound women.

  1. Not Adhering to Signs and Signals

Every husband and wife have the peculiar way to communicate with each other. In the mist of people, husband and wives deciding to go that way have special ways they talk or communicate to themselves and those around will not know what they have said to each other. When these ways are mastered, husbands and wives keeping those around them in ignorance freely flow in their communication with each other. There are couples who use eyes to talk to each other. In fact, language differs from life partners to another. When visited around, knowledgeable husbands and wives have peculiar way they speak to each other without those around them knowing what they have said to themselves. They have ways they ask each other to do one thing to other. This is one of the secrets of every marital bedroom.     

Some couples use special sounds they make with their mouth or toes and they will know what they have said to themselves that even if you are close to them you won’t understand them. Personally, there are statements I can make before you to my wife which you cannot in any way understand unless my wife or I made it known to you or I tell you what it means or what I exactly said. This is one of the things that makes up a husband and wife. Do you know that in all these I have said here there are women who don’t understand when their husbands are with signs telling them something or to do one thing or the other? This is very disappointing as you hear some men complaining about it.

No man feels happy discovering that for a good number of years of his living together with his wife, the woman has not mastered or become acquainted with the ways they talk to them. There are women who will disappoint, disgrace of betray their husbands whenever they are using signs or signals talking to them in the public. Some of these women if you are using your toes to signal them as their husbands, they may even shout “stop using your toe nails to wound me”. By shouting so, mature people around may know that man was trying to use his toes to speak to the wife while the sign was not understood by the wife. Some women in the bid of their husbands using their eye to speak to them may shout at the hearing of people around “Why are you looking at me this way, have I committed any offence now. Please if you don’t want me here, I better leave”?

Beloved what are the ways by which your husband exclusively talks to you particularly when people are around two of you? Have you mastered those ways or are you still learning and missing them after so many years of your marriage with him? This is one of the things wives do which their husbands don’t like.

I must say or advice here that husbands and wives avoid signs and signals that are for making caricature of people or treating people with disdain. They must also avoid using any signs or signals that is Satan in them communicating with each other and such might lead to war in the society.      

  1. Retaliatory Spirit

Retaliatory spirit is bad in marriage whether it comes from the side of the man or the wife. Knowing that we are majoring women in this book, I want to say that we have women that they claim to have repented and accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior, but retaliatory spirit has not left them. These women don’t let anything go until they have paid back to the offender with evil. This spirit kills marriage as so many relationships are not more in existence due to how it worked down.

You are looking for the man’s heart to be permanently yours, the only secrete to accomplish this mission of yours is to avoid retaliation with your man no matter what happen. We have husbands who complain that their wives don’t forgive them until they have retaliated against however they offended them. They report that any time they offended their wives, they look for a way to pay them back with evil. Should this be Christian’s commendable attitude? As a matter of fact, should a believer in Christ look for a way to pay back evil with evil to those who have never exhibited the attitude of retaliation when he was physically here on earth? Even when he was treated badly by the leaders and soldiers of his day in crucifying Him he never demonstrated any retaliatory spirit. Can we remember when He was asked by His disciples to call down fire from heaven to destroy those that were planning to kill Him as Elijah did in his own days? What did He reply them? He made them to know that they don’t have that manner of spirit. What manner of spirit? This spirit of retaliation.

A woman looking for one way or the other to victimize of negatively pay back her husband that offended her is very bad. Thus is what some wives do which their husbands don’t like and can never win the husband’s heart permanently. Someone keeping her husband hungry as a way of paying Him back for the wrong he did to him is bad and unchristian. There are women who deny their husbands sex as a way of paying them back for the wrongs they did to them. Actually there are men that humanly speaking deserve being paid back with evil base on the maltreatment they give to their wives but as Christian we don’t believe in retaliation of paying back evil with evil. As a believer you may demand that things be done rightly, decently and in order before any other thing could follow but not to show or demonstrate retaliatory spirit. I mean that a woman may insist or request that wrongs be made right or adequate reconciliation be together before sex but not to deny the husband sex as a way of paying him back the unfair treatment he gave to her before coming to her for sexual pleasure.

There are men who don’t have conscience to make wrongs right or achieve total reconciliation with their wives before approaching or asking them for sex. If when such men not minding how they maltreat their wives or how they have denied them their marital rights come to them to have themselves satisfied or relieved sexually, a woman demanding or asking that together for sex, there is nothing wrong about it. Sex is good an enjoyable between a man and the woman when two of them are married and are in good terms with each other. I believe that sometimes a man and the wife sexually coming together brings about reconciliation after misunderstanding. But there are occasions in which things have gone out of hands in marriage and a man not making sure that things be put in order comes to the wife for sex. At such, he should first of all reconciled with wife before asking her for sex. We have men who amidst of how badly they treat their wives, still come to them to have them pregnant. What for you expect godly women to at such times.   

Beloved does your husband complain that you always look for way to retaliate against him any time he offends you? Do you feel happy anytime you have paid him back with the same coin with which he paid you? Do you derive happiness in retaliation? If you do, your Christianity is a questionable one therefore lacks credibility. Always do everything not to lead a challenging Christian life to your husband. If you go on following hard on him in his unfair dealings to you, you are likely to lose the aroma of your Christianity, marriage and husband in general.       

  1. Not Open to Correction

There are a good number of wives that find it difficult to accept or take corrections from their husbands. Many of these women don’t accept corrections at all from their husbands. Having such a woman as wife is always painful and irritating to men. I mean woman who cannot accept that she is wrong in anything. We have women that no matter how you try to correct them in the wrongs, they will make you understand that they know it all. In doing this, many women have lost the love and interest of their husbands.

Wives who see themselves as people who are perfect in all the ways don’t make good marriage or home. Such people see themselves as the residential address of wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Husbands of these women don’t speak before them because if they try to do so, they won’t find it easy at the moment.

Heaving a wife, you cannot correct or allow herself to be corrected has destroyed many marriages as such no woman of that magnitude ever win his man heart talk less of permanently. The women I am referring to here have the attitude of before you tell them where they are wrong, they will use many words to tell you that you are the first or initial offender. I believe that there are men or husbands who do not know how to correct their wives.  

These men will always say that their wives don’t accept corrections without knowing or admitting that they are the ones causing it. In any case, every good wife should be open to corrections. Where this is not possible, to realize a successful marriage will be far-fetched between a man and the wife.

Secrete is that, husbands don’t like wives who see their mistakes and yet refuse to be corrected or accept being responsible for it. A woman who always sees herself as someone who is perfect in all her ways makes the greatest mistake in marriage and in life. “I know it all, without looking back. “my wife looks at where you got wrong, do the right thing” and the wife say ‘‘leave it like that, there is nothing wrong with it” kills marriages without mercy.

No one is perfect except God. as humans we are bound to make mistakes at tomes. Making mistakes has no problem with it, by the way, it is another way of learning. “get out of the road is not a course, but there is a tune you will used it become a course”. Where the problem lies is where someone makes mistakes and refuses to be corrected taking it that his or her mistake is the right thing to be done. A good and God-fearing wife should always be in the mood of being corrected to do the right thing say “yes my husband. I made a mistake, what you told me now is the right thing to be done, I have taken my correction”. This is what every husband expects from his wife at the face of her mistake. “don’t worry, I know what I am doing” when you do not know that what you are doing is wrong it actually kills your relationships particularly marriage.  

  1. Not Showing Enough Care    

In marriage, many husbands are complaining that their wives don’t show them enough care. Their wives simply see or take them as people who are strong and mature enough to adequately take care of themselves. These women would like their husbands always care for them but would not care to care for their husbands.

Husbands of these women report with annoyance that their wives don’t see them as people who require or deserve adequate care for them. Is it true that men because they are men they don’t need to be so much cared for? Don’t they need the petting of their wives? Is it only women that need the petting of husbands or to be cared for? Is it only women that their husbands should from time to time look at their faces? Should there not be times a woman should out of her caring spirit look at the face of her husband?

A good number of women are not good in taking care of their husbands. This they show in so many ways. Who should a woman care for before other members of the home? What is your answer? Children” are you sure? If your husband departs to eternity who will take care of you and these children? I believe the first person in the home to be cared for by every wife is the husband. When a husband is taken care of, he can in conjunction with the wife take care of their children.

A woman should show the husband enough care for him to last for her. Whenever a man comes back home after day’s job, the wife should go close and ask him how things went with him in the day. She should ask him to know areas he had challenges or problems. At such times, the woman should make sure the husband takes his bath, eat and sleeps where there is no other thing to do, discussion or it has become too late for any other thing. Whenever a husband is sick, the wife should draw closer and show care. Do you know that ordinary hand-rubbing the body of your husband can heal him? You don’t stay far and ask your sick husband to take drugs. Staying far to say to your husband “get up, bath and take your food” does not show a shower of care. You can bring the drugs alongside with water or any other thing for him to take them from your hand.

All these are demonstration of care which many wives don’t exhibit to their husbands. This many husbands don’t like as they always expect their wives to show them enough care. Planning to win his heart permanently, then show him some care. I hope you know that every wife is a mother of her husband

It is quite unfortunate on the other hand that many husbands don’t show their wives care as I have narrated above but that is not how its supposes to be among husband and wives. Many husbands do not know that justice demands that when the right husband washes the left and the left will in response wash the right. If you enjoy your wife taking care of you, do everything to always show her care. Whatever you would want people to do for you do the same for them matt 7:12. Anyway, if your husband doesn’t care for you do everything to show him care to see if he can through that way and learn to care for you.

  1. Shifting Love for The Husband to The Children

Many men complain that the love their wives earlier had for them had been shifted to their children. They don’t openly complain of this to avoid their children misunderstanding them. Husbands know that openly without reservation complaining of this may make their children wrongly think that their father doesn’t like seeing their mother taking care of them. Understanding this, within many men they don’t like how the love their wives had for them became shifted to their children. Some men feel abandoned seeing that their wives much attention has been diverted from them to their children. Noticing this, their marriage is gradually having problems. As I said earlier, many men don’t complain this openly to avoid their children understanding it that they don’t want their mother to be loving and showing them care.

This can be occasions that demand urgent attention of a wife to the husband. In such occasion, children may be asked to wait for a little while when their father is attended to. This can be a time where a man just comes back from his long period of travel or absent from the home. In such cases it is how tender a baby is that may determine who should be taken care of first the husband or the baby and this is a very big secrete that you must take note of if you truly want the man’s heart to be yours permanently.

  1.  Showing Unconcern Whenever the Man Comes Back Home.

We have men who complain that their wives don’t show concern any time they return from travels. They report that their wives continue whatever they are doing without recognizing their returning home after certain journeys. These men complaining about this, do it with annoyance. When I looked into their report I discover that many of them lodge in accurate and factual report.

There are wives who don’t celebrate the returning of their husbands after long days or period of travel. These men are knock at the door and they will come in seeing their wives singing and doing what they were doing before they came in. Most men feel happy noticing this in his relationship with the women. On this you will see some women continuing washing their clothes and signing praises to God even when they have seen their husband coming in after a period of travel or absent from home. The women in doing this will behave as if no one like their husbands has returned home. Some of these women continue sitting where they are sitting as their husbands come inside the house or room. Looking at them, you will not see expression of joy on their faces as people whose husband returned home after some days or weeks of missing each other.            

Saying this shows that you don’t know what marriage is all about. As you warmly welcome your husband from travel, greet him very well, speak good and sweet words to him and say to him “sweetie, honey, darling” or whatever you call him “you are welcome” touches him so much that he will know that you love him indeed. Never you as a matter of misunderstanding says that your spiritually really means take things for granted.

  1. Threat to Divorce

Threat to divorce one’s husband is another thing some wives do which their husband hate most. It is a powerful factor that has brought injury to some marriages. Marriage as a scared was supposed to remain intact till death part the partners involved. marriage is a scared institution that must be kept sacred by those involved in it. A man taking himself as the man of the house threaten the wife divorce or a woman doing so is wrong and anti-God. many believers dong this do not know the depth of injury they give to their marital unions.

There are husbands who complain that their wives always threaten to leave them and return to their people. On this some wives even threaten to leave their husbands and remarry. He equally has wives who from time to time tell their husbands one day if they do not take time they will divorce them and remain single till Jesus comes. Those women saying all these don’t know that they are emotionally wounding their husband and their marriage too. Some husbands are not relaxing in their marital relationship with their wives because every time they come up with their divorce threat.  The men who face this divorce threat from their wives do unnoticed feel within their minds that they are not sure of living along with such women as they will leave them one day and go back to their people or remarry.

It is wrong for a woman over minor issues to begin to face the husband with divorce threat. There are women that over little matters or provocation they will start telling their husband that if they don’t take time, they will divorce them. Wives doing this do not help marital unions. There are husbands who complain that in little misunderstanding with their wives they will begin telling them that they are tired of living together with them.

Some women occasionally presenting divorce threat to their husbands do so to put fear in their husbands so as to have them so much love and value them. It is wrong for a woman in her bid to get one thing or the other from her husband to begin to threaten to divorce him if he doesn’t give her that particular thing. Sometimes women who do this are those who feel in one area or the other that they have advantage over their husband. The advantages could be economic, academic or family background. In any case a woman despite who she is or what she has should be over the husband. So it should be on the side of every married man. A man considering that he has advantage over the wife can be devastating to a marital union. For any marriage to survive life partners must see themselves as no one having any advantage over the other.

As it is not right for a man to always be telling the wife that he will divorce her, so it is wrong for a woman despite what may be the case to be telling the husband that she will divorce him if he doesn’t take time. Some men despite whatever misunderstanding they may be having with their wives hate always receiving divorce threat from their wives. If you are a wife that occasionally tells your husband that you will one day divorce him, please stop it from today.    

This is because it cracks the walls of marital institution as built by God. A man always hearing from the wife that she will likely divorce him in future destroys marriages as there is no consolidated confidence in those marriages. Secondly as they have been saying, husbands don’t like hearing such from their wives as it shakes the foundation of marital relationship and it is a very big secrete to a man’s heart if put an end to such words.

  1. Keeping Money When Everyone Is in Need

We have women who have the attitude of preserving or keeping their money intact when it is obvious that there is no money in the pocket of their husbands to provide food for their families. When they know that there is no food in the house or for the family they will make sure that their money kept in a secret place in the house is well disregarded. These women despite that their husbands may be complaining that there is no money in the house for feeding or even solve a little financial problem in the home they will be comfortable sitting on the bag with which they keep their money for saving. This attitude of some wives in their marriages is one of the things some wives do which their husbands don’t like. The husband of these women do complain bitterly that their wives may be having a huge amount of money with them while everyone in the family will be complaining of hunger. These women at such times watching their husbands complaining that there is no money or food in the house they are seen pretending and complain as if they don’t even have a N or a $ with them. Sometimes the money of these women are seen in hidden places, I mean places no one will ever suspect that there is money secured in them.

No man will ever be happy with a wife that loves her money more than the welfare of her family.   How nice does it look discovering that a woman has a reasonable amount of money at the down part of her box while her family members including herself and her children are crying for no food in the house or for money to solve one little financial need or the other?

There is no husband even if the person is an angel who will be happy with a wife that will be watching the husband and the children crying that there is no money in the house and she will be quite. How can it be considered good that everyone in the family will be crying as a result of hunger when if well searched it will be discovered that the woman of the house has enough money that will suffice taking care of the family for one week or even a month?

It is not every time a man takes care of his family or can be found having money to carry out his family obligations. There are times a husband may be broke to the extent that he may not even have a dime or Fadden to buy biscuits for his children much more giving offering in the church. At such times a wife can contribute to see that the family is kept moving despite that she is not the head by obligation it is not in her hands to provide for the family. In such occasions a wife can call the husbands in and tell him that she has little money with her either in the house or in the bank. How do you think a husband will feel hearing this from the wife at such critical time? A wife doing that, the husband will feel relived counting her as a reasonable, caring and understanding fellow in fact his love for the wife may from then increase to an intoxicating level. I know that there are men that may not see it the way I have described it here but the fact is that majority of men will take it as I have said.

I must say here that most men usually have problems in borrowing from their wives, promising to pay back and at end falling to do so. Some men at the time of their financial needs will run to their wives asking them with humble mind to lend them certain amount of money but when it comes to paying back the money to the woman the husband will bring in logic into the issue.   

As a man, anytime you borrow from your wife do everything to pay her back otherwise it will be difficult for your wife to lend you another time. Another fact here is that it will be counted as sin before God against any man that borrowed from the wife but deliberately refuse to give her back as promise, doing so that through that way he will be able to adequately take care of his family than depending on the wife’s little saving. Thirdly I want to advice that every woman should finds something doing so that in the time of needs you can stretch out a helping hand to your husband. Most importantly, every man must endeavor to be financially sincere to the wife. This will encourage a woman to come in to assist the husband any time the family is in needs. Does a woman gain anything apart from her having money and watch the family being tormented by lack and hunger? Please women answer me this question. Is it true that a woman’s money is not for spending rather a man own? Please it should not be every time that a woman gives the husband money that she should ask him to later bring it back. Always know that you and your husband are in marital relationship and not in friendship or business partnership.

Jerome Udoh (Evang.)

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