USE AND ABUSE OF SOCIAL MEDIA IN A RELATIONSHIP

AN OPEN LETTER TO ENGAGED BROTHERS/SISTERS OR BRETHREN IN A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP

The social media has caused more harm than good to several relationships and married homes. The social media if well utilized, comes with a lot of benefits, same way it comes with a lot of harms if wrongly utilized.

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Owing to carelessness in the use of the social media, a lot of relationships that could have led to marriage have hit the rock. Recently, a man was begging a lady over the phone for her to reconsider him in the relationship they’ve struggled to build together over the years…Guess what the lady’s response was? “…Fred, you know I don’t pock-nose into your chats, but each time I manage to open your Facebook, all I see is erotic chats between you and other women even after we’ve promised ourselves love and togetherness till death do us part…Look Fred, I don’t even want to talk about the way girls do call you in the middle of the night and you do go outside to receive those calls. The other day I told you to do away/delete your exe’s number from your phone and you did, only for me to see it in your phone later in the evening. If you are not yet ready to do away with your ex, while make me your next? Each time I challenge you, the next thing you would thunder is ‘I don’t trust you’… You see, Fred, each time you cry about my not trusting you even while these evidence of distrust remains in you, I see you as someone who is only crying wolves when there’s none and spending the rest of my life with your type is the worse injustice I can ever do to myself!…” She cuts the call. Though few minutes later Fred called back and then she calmly said, Fred I am sorry to say this “…I can’t trust you anymore. It’s over!” And that was the end of a relationship they both struggled to build for years.

As a brother in a serious/committed relationship, nothing concerns you with embarking on erotic chats with Mary, Jennifer and Isabella when you know you are in a serious relationship with Anthonia. As a sister, you have no business chatting erotically with Bro Andrew, Samson or Johnson when you are already in a serious relationship with Bro Phillip. Temptation in a relationship is like a crop planted on a good or bad soil. Don’t tell your spouse “…she’s just a sister in the fold, nothing more…”, when you know fully well that the chats between the both of you are gradually turning erotic or sensual. It takes time and space for temptations in a relationship or marriage to mature while it takes just a MISGUIDED CHAT or conversation (online or offline) for it to grow. Once you have started it, it will definitely grow willy-nilly. Even if it doesn’t grow, it could be hurting to the consideration of your partner, especially if he cannot do same to you. This was why the bible counseled in Matthew 7:12 to ‘do unto your neighbor same way you equally want them to do to you.’

No matter how strong you are as a brother or sister in the fold, if the devil wants to cause a confusion in your relationship or marriage, using a fellow brother or sister (even in the fold), he can. That’s why you need to guide your heart against all circumstances that could engender infidelity be it in the form of emotional double dating or sensual double dating (online or offline).

Sacrifice is one of the essential factors that determines the possibility of a relationship leading to marriage. If as a brother, you cannot give up your exe’s or inordinate social media lifestyle just to peacefully be with the woman of your dream, my brother you are not yet ready for marriage. If as a sister, you still maintain an intimate relationship with your exes or other intending suitors when you are already in a truly committed serious relationship with a brother, my sister, do not say, “church of Christ brothers are wicked”, should he call the relationship off on discovering your doggedness even while he is not being dogged towards you. Nothing other than YOUR SALVATION AND YOUR FAMILY is too big to be sacrificed in other for you to give yourself and your spouse a long lasting peace and happiness, before and after marriage. You see those sisters that are making you to give that sister headache, they are not giving their men headache. You are the one that is playing a dangerous game with your God-given diamond. Learn to sacrifice whatsoever takes away peace of mind from your relationship if truly it is a serious/committed one. There are sisters who have sacrificed even their jobs; social media life and on the extreme, their phone numbers/SIMS just to live peacefully with their spouse and today, they are happy they did, THOUGH I AM NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD, so long it doesn’t cause turbulence in your relationship/marriage. What is worth living for is worth sacrificing for.

I believe you were touched in one way or the other with this write-up. May the peace of the Lord which surpasses all understanding be with you all in Jesus name Amen.  

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